Ex-Bigg Boss contestant Priya Malik is recapping Bigg Boss season 10 for us. You can read her recaps here. Follow her on Twitter: @PriyaSometimes.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author.
Priya Malik
We begin the episode on some weird tissue vissue ke issues and Bani finds it gross. Well well well, snot infused tissues > pee infused pants, just saying! She also makes a “gande log” remark which is presumably for the commoners. We also see Monalisa, whom we only see either crying or dancing or flirting with Manu– with Manveer and Navin acting as the second fiddles.
NItibha later confronts Bani about her gande log remark by giving a strange analogy of a mom who washes her child’s poo, to which Bani responds with an equally strange response of “saaf log saaf tissues chhorte hain”, errr… what? Tissues are to getting dirty as much as Manoj, Manveer and Naveen are to being assholes. During this discussion, Akansha does exactly what Priyanka‘s cutout poster does, i.e. stay mute.
Housemates wake up to I am the best and ironically (one of the worst) Swami ji is seen shaking his bootay (Swami ji ki booty) on it. We hear a story about humble beginnings from Manoj. What amazes me is that someone who claims to have started his career by selling water filters, (I too, have very humble beginnings) now only calculates his worth in his cars and bank balance! That is sad, not inspiring. When you’re born with nothing, you must value nothing- nothing materialistic, at least.
The two teams are then asked to vote their weakest links (based on the luxury task performance) to be put in jail. The celebrities choose Monalisa and the commoners pick Swami ji, amidst a lot of resistance from the two. The fact that Monalisa had pretty much volunteered to go to jail last time was not mentioned by anyone and hence felt a tad unfair on her. Akanksha, at least volunteers to go seeing Swami ji’s resistance, but no one comes forward in the celebrity group to bear Mona’s brunt.
Manveer exercises his vocal chords on Swami ji and also practices a few cuss words (lest he forgets his mother and sister) before their decisions are relayed to Bigg Boss. Monalisa and Swami ji express their resistance for going to the jail to Bigg Boss which vanishes as quickly as my level of interest in the two of them. Navin (surprisingly) puts forward an interesting point that the celebrities actually lost due to the fact that Rohan instigated him to pour water on their clothes, and not due to Monalisa´s act.
Swami ji later explains that his resistance to get into the jail was only to get some footage. Honestly, I think his whole existence is to get footage, seriously. His stash of porn probably includes photos and videos of himself doing himself. Oorja ka patan, I tell you.
Later, the commoners are asked to choose two people from their team who performed the best in the luxury task to compete in an immunity task. They decide on Navin and Lokesh’s names while Swami ji tells Monalisa that it was actually his prayers that made them win. In fact, even the Indian Independence should actually be attributed to him. Had he not entered inside our freedom fighters’s souls and made them fight for freedom, we had still be a colonised country. I think we should erect (wrong choice of word) a statue in his honour.
We also hear Manoj expressing his unhappiness at Lokesh being chosen for immunity and hating the fact that she took a stand for herself. Manoj hates anyone who takes a stand for themselves because his penis shrinks when that happens.
For the immunity task, Lokesh and Navin are supposed to build a line using building blocks that are to be given to them by the rest of the housemates. Most celebrities give their blocks to Lokesh considering she is much more likable than Navin. Navin then hatches an evil plan to toss all of Lokesh’s blocks when the buzzer goes off so that he wins the task. Although, he claims to be worried about coming across as too negative, haha, that’s like Satan worrying about being called the Devil. He later tells Manveer, “Main apne blocks lambe karke aata hoon”. Men need to understand that size enlargement is a farce. Ask Swami ji!
Eventually, Navin decides to not do that since his conscience (I didn’t know he had one) is not allowing him to do it. So he decides to negotiate it with Lokesh, saying that he has more likelihood of being nominated and hence is more in need of immunity. When Lokesh takes a stand for herself and he too feels his penis shrinking inside his pants, he rushes inside and topples Lokesh’s blocks. That stroke of conscience in Navin lasted shorter than Rahul Roy‘s Bollywood career.
Lokesh puts up a strong fight against Navin and gets back to building her blocks again. No one, and I repeat no one, other than Lokesh herself confronts Navin for his hideous ploy until he says “Thappad maaru?” to Lokesh. Yes, the man whose mother (a woman) rolled beedis to bring him up and educate him, just threatened a woman with his sheer display of physical strength. His mum must be so proud of him right now. No amount of education can ever remove prejudice in a human being and NavIn is a living example of that.
PS: His thappad comment also gets swept under the rug by everyone. The oh-so! sophisticated celebrities decide not to intervene and the commoners also present some superficially comforting comments to Lokesh. The strong men and women, be it in looks or muscle weight, appear so miniscule in front of the chhote pack main bada dhamaka Lokesh.
Navin exposes his DNA (Developed Nasty Assholiness) even further by then asserting that he was only joking with Lokesh. I can see the queue outside his coaching centre crossing the Howrah Bridge as I type this. In fact, it is Navin who actually needs some coaching from Lokesh- lessons in insaaniyat, for starters.
PS: Hi Nitibha, can we send Navin to Kashmir?
PPS: Can we make it a one way flight?
Yours bitchfully,
Bitch Boss
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